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Hi I'm Paul

I'm a Computer Scientist. I'm a listening ear. I'm a follower of Christ. I'm a Mormon.

About Me

Where to start? I've always had a deep, abiding passion for learning. That really drives most of my interactions with others, and even my hobbies. I love listening to someone who is passionate about a particular topic. They will usually get joyously lost in describing the ins and outs, sharing with me the little things that they love. I listen. I occasionally interject. I give a little about my own experiences. But mostly, I listen. I've found that most people just want to be heard, and I am quite happy to help. The number of fascinating people and topics I have encountered is beyond description. I used to take apart the electronics in our house, destroying or dismantling them to understand their inner workings; a practice that caused my parents more than a little annoyance. This craving for technical understanding has fueled my interest in Computer Science, Music, Graphical Design, User Experience, Electrical Engineering, religion, and even business throughout my life. I attended a dual enrollment program at a local community college, and completed an Associate's of Science in Computer Science as I received my High School Diploma. To be quite honest, I thought school was a joke, and didn't take it seriously. Even spending a decent hunk of money to find out that I wasn't ready to work on my Bachelors at that point. I moved back home and worked in foodservice for a few years, learning Southern hospitality. I received my Eagle Scout Award, and graduated from LDS Seminary.

Why I am a Mormon

I struggle with same-sex attraction. I recognized my attraction around the age of 14, and quickly fell into depression and feelings of uncomfortable self-loathing, hiding my attractions and even my depression from family in a thick layer of addictive video gaming. All was fine and well for years of school, church, and gaming. I graduated, and just like that, I was facing a frightening precipice of choice, moving out, college, religion... Nobody was going to make decisions for me any longer! I told my parents about my attractions amid fears and uncertainties. They reached out to me with love and support, and I left home happily. End of story, right? Wrong! I arrived at college and quickly spent all of my savings (in 3 months I spent thousands) and got depressed. I finally got kicked out of college, and went back home, much like the prodigal son in the Bible, disgraced and sad. My family welcomed me back with open arms and love in their eyes. I quickly decided I didn't need church, but still hated myself for my shortcomings and my ultimate failure. Fast-forward a few years of work and a few counselors, still I found myself very far from happiness, and even a few addictions deeper than before. I wanted to change, but I always said I would do it "tomorrow." Finally, sick and tired of stagnation, I started to work hard to clean up my act. I did the things people had been telling me to do for years. I was honest. Brutally honest. While there was no one event that brought me to the Savior, so many miracles transpired that I cannot write them all on this page. Good friends, wonderful parents, dedicated teachers, inspired counselors, opportunities. Though I still have my attractions, they do not steer my life like I thought they did. Through His power, I gained courage! I really just want security and hope. Do I know everything? Absolutely not! But I know my Savior, and He is what matters most. He lives. His love is infinite, and of that I bear witness in His name, Amen.

How I live my faith

A normal weekday involves getting up before work, prayer, a small breakfast, workout, scriptural study, and some checkup on my social media. I will then either walk or bike to work. (#poor) After work I come home and crash on my chair, scrolling through social media before evaluating my remaining time and deciding what to do with the rest of my day. I will usually pray, thanking God for my day and for any blessings I identified throughout the day. The other parts vary, I may decide I want to hang out with a friend, I may decide I want to learn how to cook a specific kind of cake, it doesn't matter! After that, I will prepare for bed by journaling my day's experiences, doing another quick workout, praying, reading some scripture, and heading to bed. On Wednesdays, I will spend the evening attending a church class, where I will conduct the meeting, communicating the events that are planned for the congregation and awkwardly leading the music. (I try, but can't seem to get it down) On Thursdays, I attend two addiction recovery meetings where I study with and fellowship those who are also of weak will. I absolutely treasure these meetings each week, where I learn something new every single time. The Spirit is extremely powerful and intimately involved in the healing of myself and others who desire to make radical changes in their lives. On Sundays I will typically sleep in rather late, (Late church is great) before getting up and preparing for my Sunday with prayer, study, shower, and breakfast. I forego my workout on Sunday, simply because I believe in the promise that keeping the Sabbath day holy is a commandment from the Savior, and that I should spend my time resting and preparing for my coming week. I will then attend church services, (typically by asking for a ride from my myriad of friends) where I will assist in the ordinance of the Sacrament. I attend the Sunday School classes and catch up with my friends. I then go home and message my friends who live far away