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Hi I'm Sandra

I'm a mother. I'm a widow. I'm a blogger. I love to read. I love to be outdoors. I love to create. I have hope. I'm a Mormon!

About Me

On November 28, 2011, we received a phone call that forever changed our lives. My husband was told the horrific news that he had stomach cancer. I will never forget that moment of sheer terror and disbelief. Within two weeks of receiving that phone call, he had numerous scans, met with doctors, and had surgery to completely remove his stomach. The surgery was only the beginning of our 14-month battle. In addition to all the physical things my husband had to endure, we had to endure all those horrific emotions. It was horrible to watch him suffer and feel so helpless. I was so afraid. I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I didn’t want my children to be fatherless, but…I didn’t want him to suffer. I will never forget the day we were told the fight was over. We were told it was time for hospice. It was all so surreal to hear that we were done…to hear them say my husband had about a week to live. My sweet husband fought long and hard. He passed away in February, 2013. I cannot say I am grateful for my husband dying, but I can say I am grateful for all the things I have learned because of his death. I have greater faith, greater spiritual knowledge…a greater understanding of life and the power of the atonement. I wish I could be who I am now, but still have him here with me. However, I know, it is because of his death that I am a stronger, better person. It is those excruciatingly painful trials that we grow from the most!

Why I am a Mormon

Yes, I was born into a Mormon family, but that is not why I am still a Mormon. I am a Mormon because I have read the Book of Mormon, have pondered and prayed about it and have received my own witness that the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored. Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and he did indeed translate the Book of Mormon. What a beautiful thing to know that God has blessed us with modern-day prophets who guide us and lead us. It is because of modern-day revelation that we know and understand more about eternal families! I can't wait to be reunited with my amazing husband (and of course all of my loved ones)! After my husband died, there was such emptiness in my heart. There are no words to adequately describe the pain I felt. The emotional pain became so intense that I felt physical pain as well. Not only was I grieving, but I had grieving young children as well. I wasn’t sure if this could be done. You aren’t supposed to lose your spouse when you are young…you are supposed to grow old together. How was I going to raise two young children by myself? How do I go on? We ALL experience customized trials while in mortality. No matter what your trial is, you have two choices. How do you go on? Either you let the adversity consume you with sadness, doubt and fear, which ultimately can overtake your life, or you fight with all you have and you to turn to God. I choose to continue trusting God and His plan for me. I choose to believe in the plan of salvation, which means that I will one day be reunited with my husband and all loved ones who have died. Because the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored through Joseph Smith, I have been able to read not only from the Bible to bring me solace, but also the Book of Mormon. Both books have helped me to find great comfort and peace at the passing of my husband. It is through those teachings that I realized the importance of prayer and developing my relationship with my Savior.

How I live my faith

In my fight to survive after the loss of my husband, I have discovered that serving and gratitude are helping me to win the daily battle! Immediately after my husband died, I was asked to serve as president over a group of women in my church. Most people thought this was a crazy thing to ask of someone who had just become a widow, but for me it became my salvation. I quickly discovered that through serving them, I was forgetting my own troubles and was actually being blessed in my own life. Part of my new responsibilities included making sure the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of the women were being met. I quickly discovered that through serving them, in addition to my children, I was forgetting my own troubles and was actually being blessed in my own life. I try to live my life with gratitude. Being grateful does not eliminate all pain and suffering, but it enables you to find joy in life in spite of the trials. I believe where the most growth and strength of character can be developed is by finding gratitude in the sweetness that can come because of the bitter. I have chosen to share with others, in class room settings and through blogging, the importance of the atonement of Jesus Christ and the help we can receive to endure and even overcome our trials. Yes, the atonement is there and it is real, but we must act to receive the benefit of it. I have found when I follow the gospel of Jesus Christ through prayer, scripture study, service and gratitude I receive greater help from the atonement. The more we act on following the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more enablement we have through the atonement. It is not the teachings of the world that are helping me to heal after the loss of my husband. It is my understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is prayer. It is scripture study. It is service. It is gratitude. It is faith. It is hope. Ultimately, my adversity has helped and is helping me to know God and to trust His plan for me.