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Hi I'm Rebecca

I'm a college student. I love music, food, friends, the outdoors, taking naps and a whole lot of other things. And I'm a Mormon.

About Me

Hello! I've lived a lot of different places, including 2 years abroad and therefore don't really connect strongly with anywhere. But the majority of my growing up was in a small rural town so I guess that's where I'm from. I have both my parents, a younger brother, and a cat. I am headed into my sophomore year of college. I haven't yet quite figured out what I want to be "when I grow up" and that frustrates me. I like to always have a plan, but I'm working to figure it out. I'm also not a writer so this will most likely not be elegant, and I feel it's totally inadequet but I hope you can glimpse what I'm aiming for.

Why I am a Mormon

I don't believe in things easily. I'm just naturally skeptical. I don't even think I ever even believed in Santa Claus. So when I say I believe in this church it is certainly not just because it’s how I’ve been raised or because I’ve never questioned it. I’ve heard people stand up and say that they’ve never doubted. And that’s a really great thing for them. But that’s not me. I have. A lot. I read the Book of Mormon and prayed for conformation of its truth, but felt nothing like I was just playing mind games with myself. I moved on to wondering if there even was a God and couldn’t find any reason to believe. I finally gave up completely. I decided that there just must not be anything there, so I’ll just live my life how I please. I thought I was fine, even better for not worrying about it, but without any anchor, my struggles with my self-esteem started leading me down a path that one night I realized I didn’t want to be going. And that desperation opened me up to trying one last time. I remembered everything about God I’d been taught as a kid and despite feeling ridiculous, I tried to pray one more time, trying to feel if something was there. And I incredibly powerfully felt that not only God existed, but that He cared about me. That knowledge has changed my life. I still struggle with feeling inadequate, but in the best moments I see that as long as I'm trying that's all He expects. And I know no matter what my life is better with the church in it. I feel like a better stronger person, because I know God is helping through. I see his hand in small miracles everyday. And I can’t forget that moment where I felt his love so strongly. I know God exists and has a plan for each of us. I know Christ suffered for our sins and died and lived again so we can become clean from our sins and live again with God. I know this church is his church and has power and truth that I haven't found anywhere else. And I am eternally grateful to have that in my life.

How I live my faith

I start to feel inadequate when I think about what I need to do to live up to this amazing knowledge and love I've felt. But in the high moments I realize that all He expects is for us to keep trying. So that's how I live my faith. Keeping trying - to believe, to pray, to learn about Christ's gospel. And helping other people. I think that's the most important part of Christianity, helping others. And so even though it intimidates me I've been trying to do everything I can to reach out and strengthen others - from being kind to a classmate or helping in the community. And I might not be great at it, but I'm trying to be positive.