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Hi I'm Jessi

I'm a homeschool "graduate", a collector of hobbies, and a remarkably awful singer. I'm a Mormon.

About Me

I think too much. You all have literally no idea how long I had to strain my brain, wrinkle my brow, and ponder how best to sum up my existence like that. If that isn't irony, I don't know what is. Me: I'm a five foot ten white girl, eldest of seven, with an obsessive love of reading and writing, and an unfortunate tendency towards sarcasm. I have roughly a million interests and hobbies (I considered listing them all, but ran out of room). I love my family more than anything in the whole world -- and there's not an ounce of sarcasm in that statement -- and leaving them to serve in God's mission is harder than any words I've ever read or written can ever really hint at. I dream of swimming in the ocean, learning to drive a manual car, and seeing something I've written on a shelf in the public library. I dream of being a mother someday, of teaching my children the way my mother taught me. I dream of eternity, and living it together with the people I love most. I'm not perfect, but I like to imagine that someday I will be.

Why I am a Mormon

There has never been a time in my life when I have not been a Mormon, and there has never been a time when I did not know God lives. I was born into the Church: I grew up in Utah, where everyone I knew was also a member, and I was taught principles of the gospel from a very young age. Looking back on my childhood, I think maybe I had that kind of faith that could have moved mountains, because there was never even a seed of doubt in my mind. Then puberty hit. Yeah, I think it does that to everyone. I'm willing to bet that even Jesus, who was perfect in all things, got a zit or two during those years. It's almost ridiculous, when I think about it, how even when I was making mistake after mistake, when I stopped praying and reading my scriptures and avoided all semblance of religion that I thought I could get away with -- how I never doubted the truthfulness of it all. Those early teen years were dark and horrible and awful, and as much as they shaped my life I don't like to think on them at all, but they did give me one invaluable insight: perspective. I had felt what it was like to live with the perfect joy that comes from following in the footsteps of our Savior, from feeling His love, and I had felt what it was like to have every shred of that joy taken away and replaced with despair and anger and misery. I have felt both extremes. It was those extremes, in fact, that kept me believing. There is nothing in human understanding that can explain the profoundness of the guilt I felt -- but God knows, and understands, and that made all the difference. I said earlier that I love to write, but there aren't words enough in all the world to explain the truth of God. This section asks why I am a Mormon, so I will tell you: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I know it. I know it more completely and fully than I know the sky is blue, that gravity pulls down, that I have a heart in my chest and it beats. I seal this testimony in Jesus' name, amen.

How I live my faith

Faith is something that creeps its way into every aspect of your life. Whether you place your faith in science, in a sports team, in your family and friends, your faith is what defines you. For myself, I choose to place my faith in Jesus Christ -- and it affects every piece of me. There are many aspects of religion that most everyone is familiar with: prayer, baptism, church attendance, following specific principles and commandments, and so on. I certainly try my hardest to keep up with all these little manifestations of faith, and I know that they will help me become stronger in my own convictions. In my own life, I teach the three- and four-year-olds in church, I work in the temple every Wednesday morning, I read my scriptures and pray every day, and I'm preparing to serve a full time mission come November 5. But these rules and commitments are not my faith. To me, faith is not in saying rote prayers over every meal or in regular church attendance, as valuable and important as those things may be. Faith means that I trust Jesus Christ. Faith means that I live my life with an eye for the eternal perspective. Faith means that I try to be the best I can every day. Faith means that I love everyone, as Christ did. Faith means that, though I am far from perfect, I know Christ will make up the rest. Faith means I will do whatever the Lord asks of me -- not because of some obscure idea of heaven lingering in the back of my mind, but because I love and trust Him as I want Him to love and trust me.