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Hi I'm Jill

I'm a Mormon.

About Me

I am a wife, married to my high school sweetheart. I am a mother with three small kids. I work for my local police department part time and manage my home and family the rest of the time. I play the piano and violin and have the occasional opportunity to play at church. I am also bi-polar and struggling to figure out how to keep my faith and testimony of the gospel while looking at it through the lens of mental illness.

Why I am a Mormon

I was born into a Mormon family and raised in the church. I lived off the faith of my parents until I left home to go to college. Leaving my home and my support system threw me into a proving ground where I had to decide for myself if what I had been taught my entire life was true. I really struggled for awhile and I made some mistakes, but that is where I gained my testimony about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and about forgiveness. Because of those years I was able to gain a testimony for myself that the teachings of the church are true, that I have a Savior who loves me, and that I am a Child of God with value. This testimony is what gets me through the darkest times of mental illness. My disease teaches me that I am worthless, hopeless, and unworthy. My Savior teaches me that my illness does not define me, He gives me hope for my future, He reminds me of my worth, and He atoned for all of my sins and mistakes so I can always be worthy. I choose to be a Mormon because I believe with all my heart that God loves me, that my Savior Jesus Christ loves me, and that they will continue to forgive, heal, and uplift me as they have always done.

How I live my faith

Living my faith is difficult sometimes, because my bi-polar depression makes me feel unworthy. I do my best to attend my meetings, serve faithfully in my callings, read my scriptures, pay my tithing and communicate daily with my Father in Heaven through prayer. Some of my medications that are used to stabilize my mood swings also have the side affect of blocking all emotion, both good and bad. I typically feel the spirit through emotion, so I sometimes feel like my communication from Heaven is blocked. I have found that if I just try keep the commandments and live worthy, the Lord finds a way to communicate with me when I need it the most. I have to do the small and simple things and take baby steps and as a result my faith continues to grow.