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Hi I'm Blaine

I help couples who are in crisis because of pornography. I can help them, because their story is also my story. I'm a Mormon.

About Me

I grew up in a great, big, wonderful Mormon family, with fabulous parents and amazing siblings. For years we lived in the 'mission field' where my Dad was the Bishop and we were the only Mormon kids in our school. We moved back to Utah when I was a young teen-ager so Dad could teach at BYU. Ironically, it was here that I was introduced to pornography and masturbation. My best friend's big sister got married, and her marine husband decided to teach his new brother-in-law all about life out in the real world. I was introduced to these new mysteries a couple of days later during a sleep-over. From that night on, whenever I felt anxious, worried, overwhelmed, unappreciated, frustrated, or even just bored - I had my own built-in, guaranteed, super-charged escape valve to make me feel better - at least temporarily. That is when I learned how to pretend to be perfect, while fighting a lonely war on the inside. Looking back over 30 years of cyclical struggles and now 10 years of healing, sobriety and the privilege of reaching out to help others I marvel at the tender mercies of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He patiently accompanied me through all my pride and pretending, all my repenting and relapsing until a loving Bishop found an inspired team of LDS therapists who were unravelling the insidious chords of sexual addiction. My patient and long-suffering wife and I began a journey of recovery that has healed our hearts and resurrected our marriage.

Why I am a Mormon

I am a Mormon because I have experienced the loving grace and the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I have travelled the dark road of sin and secrets. I have wallowed in the fithiness that the world calls freedom. I have wrestled with the demon of toxic shame that tried time and time again to convince me that I was a hopeless failure, a lying hypocrite that would be hated by all if they only knew. I am a Mormon because through all my travails, the rock that kept bringing me back was that sure witness, born of the water and of the spirit, confirmed by priesthood power and treasured temple truths that God, my Heavenly Father lives and loves me that Jesus is the Christ, the Holy Son of God, and that He has restored to the earth His divine truths and teachings through His Latter-day prophet, Joseph Smith. I am a Mormon because I have witnessed in my own life, and also in the lives of hundreds of my fellow travellers the miraculous, transformational power of my Savior's redeeming sacrifice and the loving, patient, healing influence of the Holy Ghost that accompanies our daily roads of recovery. I am a Mormon because I have received answers to my prayers and light for my path in the sacred words of the Holy Scriptures. I have lived in my own life the parables of Jesus and the Psalms of David from the Bible. I have experienced in my own journey the stories of vile sinners turned into humbled servants from both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I have marveled at the power and wisdom of the Lord's restorational teachings in the Doctrine and Covenants and pondered over the ancient truths revealed in the Pearl of Great Price. I am a Mormon because I have witnessed the healing of my wife's broken heart, her transformational journey to become a liscensed professional counselor, and the power of her gifts as she now guides other traumatized spouses through a journey of healing and a renewal of hope. I am a Mormon because once I was lost, and now I am found.

How I live my faith

The 12th step of every recovery program is simple, but transformational - once you have been strengthened, reach out and help others. For most of my life I would run away from my failures. After relapsing and then once again repenting I would uproot my family and move to a new job, in a new city, with new neighbors and new church leaders who I hoped would never have to know how I had struggled. I would arrive with all my talents and positive personality traits on full display trying to wow my new community with my best impression of perfection personified. What I didn't realize was that I was setting myself up for another cyclical collapse. It was only a matter of time before I would once again begin a pattern of obsessing, rationalizing, ritualizing, and eventually relapsing. That's why they call it an addiction! This time I have stayed. This time I share my story with those who are also struggling. This time I have finally stopped pretending to be perfect and have learned to prize the precious gift of patient progression. To my humble amazement, my family, my friends, my neighbors all seem to like me better as a honest, repentant sinner than they ever did as a perfectionist pretender. I feel like I am now a better man than I have ever been. I feel like I am now blessed to do a better work than I have ever done. I am now finally becoming my brother's keeper, and a fellow saint in the household of God - fallen, but now redeemed and moving forward in faith - one day at a time.

Can husband and wife be together forever? Do you believe that families will live together in heaven?

Blaine
During one of my times of cyclical relapse and repentance, my wife came home from a visit to the temple with a new sense of peace in her eyes. I asked her what had happened. She told me that she had found out for herself that she would be blessed with true joy and companionship in the eternities, with or without me. That personal witness became a great source of healing to my wife's heart. It scared me to my very soul. I have become convinced that eternal companionship is forever linked with the foundational principle of agency. No woman, and no man for that matter, will be required to remain in any relationship that is not a source of great joy, deep love and mutual progression and satisfaction. That truth lies at the core of the restored doctrine that in order to be valid through the eternities, earthly covenants must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. My deepest hope is that my wife will still choose to be with me, notwithstanding the ups and downs of our long and too often painful journey together during this earth life, and in spite of the myriad of eternal options that I am convinced are available to righteous women in the Celestial Kingdom of our Heavenly Parents. Show more Show less

Can a husband and wife be together forever? Do Mormons believe that families will live together in heaven?

Blaine
During one of my times of cyclical relapse and repentance, my wife came home from a visit to the temple with a new sense of peace in her eyes. I asked her what had happened. She told me that she had found out for herself that she would be blessed with true joy and companionship in the eternities, with or without me. That personal witness became a great source of healing to my wife's heart. It scared me to my very soul. I have become convinced that eternal companionship is forever linked with the foundational principle of agency. No woman, and no man for that matter, will be required to remain in any relationship that is not a source of great joy, deep love and mutual progression and satisfaction. That truth lies at the core of the restored doctrine that in order to be valid through the eternities, earthly covenants must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. My deepest hope is that my wife will still choose to be with me, notwithstanding the ups and downs of our long and too often painful journey together during this earth life, and in spite of the myriad of eternal options that I am convinced are available to righteous women in the Celestial Kingdom of our Heavenly Parents. Show more Show less