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Hi I'm Mike

'Saved By the Bell' is the best, I could drink Kool-aid at every meal, and my favorite vegetable is the corndog. I'm a Mormon.

About Me

Wherefore I, Mike, write unto you at this time, to tell you of the experiences that I have had thus far, in this probationary state, or in this mortal life. Now I am an odd child of God, for I delight in those things that are trivial and of little importance, things such as Harry Potter and comic books and penguins and chocolates and many other things that have little meaning in life. Nevertheless, I delight in all that our Father, yea the very God that gave both me and you life, yea I delight in all that He has given to me, for He has indeed given me much. Now it came to pass that all my days I tarried in the land of Southern California, in the city of Los Angeles. Yea, and as many that knew of the land of mine inheritance, they doth often ask if I do partake of the surfing in the great seas, or travel to the Land-of-Disney. But I say unto you; Nay, for the seas are brown and do smell of dead fishes, yea and the Land-of-Disney doth rob you of your riches and doth drag you down into the endless lines of engulfing boredom. Wherefore I do not delight in those abominations, but rather, I delight in things such as contests of marshmallow eatings, or entire quotations from the films such as 'Youth Deformed Warrior Turtles' or 'Less Accountable and Less Accountable-er'. For behold it is things such as this that do tickle mine fancy. Now brethren, I bid thee farewell. Until you and I shall stand face to face in the line at Tito's Tacos, for that place truly is Zion on Earth. Adieu.

Why I am a Mormon

Now at this time, I will reveal unto you that I have a Gift from God. A Gift that I have had for a very long period of time, yea even down unto the days that I was a youth. And this Gift came unto me through much study and much work on mine part, yea I had to develop this Gift for the course of several years. But nevertheless, I now have complete control over mine power, and it has revealed much unto me. Behold I say unto you that mine Gift is the ability to read. Now the Lord in His great mercy has allowed me the opportunity to see letters combined into words, and has granted unto me the ability to read them. Now I have read much in mine days. Yea everything from biography to cook book, fairy tale to war account, dictionary to bathroom stall graffiti. And also I have read the Holy Bible. Now many of you share mine gift, and have also read of the Bible and know of what I will be speaking of, but there are many who do not. For behold there are those who have read the Bible and know that in days of old, our God called prophets to the world. Yea they know that He did reveal His will unto His children and that He did always bring forth new scripture. Yea and they know that He is 'the same yesterday, today and forever' and that He loves us. And yet they believe that He no longer calls prophets, or that He dose no longer reveal new scripture, or that He somehow has changed and no longer is The Same. But I say unto you that He is the Same! Yea He doth still love us, and doth still call prophets as He did in the days of old! Now behold, this is why I have entered into the group know as the Mormons. For we truly do learn from the Lord Himself that this is true, and that this is His church.

How I live my faith

From the time of Adam our first parent, even now untill the time that ye shall read these things, the Lord has, in His great love, called unto Him servants to serve Him here below. These servents have many forms such as Prophets, Apostles, Bishops, Young Men Presidents, Emergency Preparedness Specialist, and those whom count the heads at sacrament meeting on Sundays. And now my beloved, I speak unto you of one type of servent, wich is greatest of all. Yea, one whom sacrafices all that he or she has to serving the Lord. I speak unto you, of The Missionary. Brethen and sisters, I come unto you at this time as The Missionary. Yea I have forsaken all, including that wich is most precious to me, including mine family, mine freinds, mine car, mine queen size matress with 400 count sheets and downy soft pillows that are so soft they scream 'have mercy!' and also mine hobbies of all sorts, in order to devote all mine heart, to serving our Great and Eternal God. Yea, again I say unto you that I am The Missionary of the Lord. I have denounced mine slave name, Mike, and have taken upon myself the title of Elder. And for these two short years of mine mortal existance, I have forsaken the land of mine inherentace and am now dwelling in the Land of New York. And for the time that I am in the Land of New York, I and other The Missionaries doth visit with the Jew, the Gentile, the Christian and the Narnian in order to touch their hearts with the message of the Restored Gospel. And oh what joy doth fill mine heart, to see these my brethen and sisters coming unto the Lord though the gateway of baptism! And what joy, to witness the Gift of the Holy Ghost coming unto them after they have made the covenant of baptism! Mine body doth quake with desire, that all mine brothers and sisters of all nations would except to Gospel of Jesus Christ and be perfected in Him! And now I say unto you, that if ye have desires to serve God, become The Missionary.

Why don’t Mormons drink coffee, tea, or alcohol? What is the Mormon Church’s law of health and proper diet?

Yea it has been made known unto me by the Spirit of the Lord, and also of common sense that our bodies are precious and fragile. Yea behold, because of these our bodies and their sacredness, we have been given solemn charge from the Lord that we are to respect, love, honor, cherish and protect our bodies from all the evils that the devil may send. Yea and surely he does now send many evils to entice, distract, or tempt us to disrespect these our bodies. For behold I have met many in my life, whom thrive on addiction of coffee and its beverages. Yea, my heart is torn, when I witness that without their morning indulgence, they cannot function throughout the day. Yea, it is evident that they are no longer subject to their own souls, but rather to the chemicals that do so populate the coffees. Yea they become slaves to the liquid and do spend countless hours at the Starbucks willingly handing over much of their precious riches. And it came to pass, that much of these words can be said of the other devices that Satan doth use to destroy us. For behold the contents of alcohol doth rob our bodies of all sanity and health. Yea it truly does slowly kill our innards. Yea and much can be said of the cigarette, but behold it sufficeth me enough to say that those whom partake of this substance is unclean in the eyes of the Lord, and is smelly to the nose of me. Therefore I plead unto you that you resist these things at all cost. Protect your body and keep your teeth as white as the snow. Show more Show less

Can a husband and wife be together forever? Do Mormons believe that families will live together in heaven?

Yea! Thou knowest that I believe in such doctrine! Now it came to pass, that many of us have witnessed the special union of man and woman in the ceremony of marriage. Yea it truly is part of the Plan of God for a man to cleave unto his wife. And I am filled with joy, when l behold those who have entered into this sacred relationship, for I know that they are to experience much happiness one with another. Now it grieves me that I must speak somewhat concerning this, but behold the Spirit of the Lord doth tell me at this time that I shall write that which has been said from the prophets. For behold, in a civil marriage, the couple is pronounced man and wife as long as they both shall live. Yea, they shall be together on Earth until death should separate them. Now I say unto you, what is to come after the physical death? What is to become of their marriage? It saddens me greatly to know that when performed by the authority of man, a marriage is to end with death. Yea the man and woman is to be separated one from another, and the devil is to rejoice for their great loss. But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of our God. Yea, that is why He in His infinite love, has given unto us Temples. For behold, when a man and woman is married in that sacred building, by the authority of God, they are sealed one to another, never to be separated. Not even by the sting of death! Show more Show less