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Hi I'm Charlotte

I have been on both sides of the fence and am grateful for the Atonement. I'm proud to be a Mormon

About Me

I'm a single 27 year old Daughter of God, and am trying to see and become the person that God sent me here to be. I have been on both sides of the fence and can say for a fact that I am much more happy, the TRUE happiness that all of us desire. I know that everything happens for a reason, even though at times I question why we have to be going through such hard things, but I never think that there isn't a purpose behind everything we do! SATAN SUCKS!

Why I am a Mormon

Because it gives me peace and comfort that I never knew was possible until I turned my life around and started to change my life and become a true latter day saint. My precious and eldest nephew Jared was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints a few months ago. The first speaker was the Stake Primary President, She talked about covenents and how a Stake President would explain what a covenent is to these little kids. He said, "If I promise to smile to you whenever I see you, even if I'm not having a good day, I will still smile at you whenever I see you, and your part is to promise to me that you will always smile at me when ever you see me, even if your are having a bad day." The little kids agreed with a hand shake from The Stake President. There little hands were covered in his hand shake but it was firm and comforting to the kids. The Stake Primary President then went on to say how that is what a covenent is and how we promise to always remember Him, keep His commandments and to bear one anothers burdens. But Thank you to our Savior when we slip up or make a mistake we can QUICKLY repent and do our best to never do that again. Also by taking the Sacrement weekly we are renewing our covenents with him and this particular act gives us time to reflect on our baptism day and be able to be cleansed again through participating in the Sacrament. We are human and as the natural men/women we are here to prove ourselves and overcome our weeknesses and temptations. Also to turn to him in our sorrows and struggles. The Atonement covers EVERYTHING. He knows everything and has felt everything we have and will yet to have done and go through. After she ended her talk she got a little emotional and I can only imagine what that precious Stake Primary President was thinking. I believe she was thinking that yes this is the first day of the rest of there life and she had a prayer in her heart along with us that these precious new clean and pure members of the church will be able to make it and stand strong and return to our Heavenly Father! That was my prayer in my heart. They then had us as a famly go to the baptisimal faunt to see my Jared get baptized, it was so great! Then off to the primary room we went and waited unitl they got all dried up and dressed, while they were doing that the primary president of Jareds' ward asked us to write a little note on a the little card stock paper cards and the younger kids just draw a picture or do whatever they felt for Jared to help him remember his day. My sweet Grandpa wrote a beautiful note to Jared on the card but he is so shaky you could hardly read it, so my Aunt came over and wrote what he wrote on the back of the card, so he had Grandpas letter and then on the back the translation of the note, it was precious! When Jared and Jason came out the Bishop from his ward called Jared up to the front and asked him why he thought all of these people were here? Jared said, "Because of my baptism." The Bishop then asked do you know why else they are hear? Jared was stumped. The Bishop then said, "They are all here because they ALL LOVE YOU!!!" Jared just started looking all over the room and you could tell in his eyes that he was overwhelmed with the love that everyone had for him and his little eyes got a little teary. You could tell it really impacted him! He then let Jared go sit down and talked a little bit about the Holy Ghost and the blessings that come with recieving it and the consequences of loosing it if we sin, but as soon as we repent and come back unto Christ we have that special gift back. I couldn't help but reflect back on my life and hope and pray that Jared will make much better decisions then I did, and my heart was comforted and I truly believe Jared is going to be okay! His precious spirit just radiates and he is a sweet little peace maker. The Bishop then bore his testimony and I haven't in along time felt the spirit as strong as I did when he bore his testimony, it was Amazing and so sincere and you could feel the truth in your heart, he is a incredible man! I don't even know him at all but his testimony and spirit touched my heart so strong and I know what a great man he is. Jared was then brought up to the front to sit on a chair and have all the men worthy, which was all the men there, come in an participate in Jareds' confirmation. It was indredible!! The spirit was sooo strong and I felt Jareds sweet little spirit and know he is going to be a valient member of the Church and be a a shinning light to his friends and family, which was stated in his blessing as well. I am soo proud Jared and hope and pray everyday that he will be able to conquer the adversary, he is a chosen spirit sent here to this earth at this time to do the things of the Lord. After all of this I got the privilage of taken my precious Grandpa Lehman back home. The whole way home he just poured his heart out to me an bore his testimony to me over and over but in different ways. He told me that he had been praying all week that this day would be sooo special for Jared and that he would be able to feel the Holy Ghost. And he kept saying over and over that he just hopes that he will choose the right path and not do what he did as a kid. He said I know the Lord was always with me but I wish I never would have started smoking and drinking and not being involved with the church, but that when he met my grandma (who has passed away a year ago) for the first time that there was light shinning ALL over her and he knew that that women was going to be his wife, even though he was living a rugged life all he needed was my Grandma to set him straight and help him change his life. I told him that sometimes it takes a extra boost from someone you love to get you back on the right path again. I also told him that I felt those same feelings that he did and hope that Jared will keep on th right path, life is always easier, still hard, but much more easy to bare when the Lord, Savior and Holy Ghost is on our side and fighting for us. It is us that makes the decision whether or not we turn to them or turn away from them. But no matter what when we knock/ask and want come back, The Lord is right there ready and waiting to help us with open arms! There is nothing we can do that we can't turn back and turn to the Lords side. I am sooo proud of Jared and loved his special day. His precious spirit touched me, I feel privilaged to have him in my family!! ~ NO EMPTY CHAIRS :) I have great grandparents that taught my parents how to live and now it is on our heads to teach our kids, and I think we are all doing a great job and I told Grandpa how grateful I am for him and Grandma and there great examples to us and to my parents because we would be no where without that! And because of this is why I have been able to find hope and peace in my decision to change my life and become a disciple of Christ. I am grateful to be a Mormon and am working to become a better Mormon and be the person that Heavenly Father and my Savior know I can be.

How I live my faith

I heard such an amazing story in church one sunday and it has really stuck with me. Our lesson was on Faith. The teacher shared that Faith is like a light on the top of our heads in a dark cave. That light allows us to see 5 feet in front of us, we can choose to take those steps or we can just stay where we are and not progress or go anywhere. If we decide to take those steps we now have 5 more feet in front of us that we can see and 5 feet behind us that we now have "knowledge" of and know what is behind us. As we keep taking steps we gain more Light, Faith and Knowledge which are the necessary steps to gaining Faith! I had an appointment down in Salt Lake and I was privileged to go alone, it was a great time for me to think and reflect on my life and where I am wanting to go and the choices I'm making. At times I would turn the music up full blast and sing my heart out, it was so liberating, I felt so alive and so happy to be in that moment and feel real true happiness. My faith and courage to keep on keeping on has been tested greatly most of my life, but it's times like these that make those tough times worth it. As I believe that is with everyone of us. When I returned home from Salt Lake, I went over to my parents, my mom was watching the "Miners Rescue," I hadn't heard anything about this, not even when it happened to any other coverage. I felt so out of the loop. My heart was rejoicing for those men and there family. I couldn't help but get all emotional with chills all over when each one was brought up and rescued. It was kind of a cool moment for me because I thought for a second about when we are all resurrected and how incredibly awesome that is going to be. We will all be greeted by our Father in Heaven and our Savior, and hopefully all our other loved ones, that will truly be a time of rejoicing. Everywhere in this world people are trying to push God out of everything and anything and say miracles don't happen, But God is fighting back and he will not go down without a fight. Miracles are ALL around us!!! Medical advances are taking place all around, a tiny babies tear to the sun rising everyday and a beautiful sunset to end the day. What a Miracle for those 33 men to live underground for 69 days, I can't help but keep replaying over and over in my head, The Miners that came out of that capsule and still had there helmet and little lamp on there head. That was such a A-HA moment for me and put the whole story of "Faith" into perspective, what Faith it must have taken them to be in pure darkness underground but know, with that little light on there helmets, there surroundings and have the faith they needed to sustain there lives. I loved how one of the guys said, I had the Devil on one hand pulling me and God on the other hand and I decided to cling to God because I knew he wouldn't let me down! That is so incredible! I love that in a world full of negativity and corruption we have all been able to be a witness to this amazing, happy and miraculous thing in Chile! God is so involved in all our lives and will NEVER give up on us, and as I watched those Miners being rescued it was burned even more in my heart and soul that God is aware and is ready and waiting for us to turn our lives, and will over to him! It seems that as soon as we begin to display a little faith then that faith is tried. I believe if our soul is to be stretched it necessarily is going to experience some growing pains.I love the saying that goes along with this topic about faith, "Questions asked with shallow faith are answered with a pick and a shovel that require some deep digging. Our hollow questions need to be hallowed, for only the harrowed field brings the harvest." So true!! I have never been one to ask for my faith to be strengthened in trials or to be humbled but at those times when I am being stretched and dealing with my growing pains, I am the most humble and submissive to anyone and everything that can help me or protect me. All I want is to be guided and carried through those times.I hope that you were able to at least get little of what my heart is feeling about my faith and how I feel about faith. It is up to us to be the change we want in this world, enough wishing, lets get to work! FAITH IS NOT ONLY A FEELING, IT IS A DECISION!!!

Why are only some Mormons allowed into temples? Is there something secret going on in Mormon Temples? What goes on in Mormon Temples?

My friend Lara, who got baptized on July 18, 2009, just got married in the temple on July 21, 2010. I was there with her through it all and have loved seeing her change sooo much! I'm grateful that at one point in my life the changes I was making made a impact on her and caused her to question things, and now she's gone through the temple and growing so much everyday! She has become a huge example to me in changing your life and not looking back! This has truly been a miracle and blessing for me to watch. I was unable to go through the Temple with her but was still in the waiting room in Ogden while she went through to get her endownments. My mom was able to go in place of me and be there in the Temple for her while she was getting her endownments out and also while she was getting married. As I sat in the Ogden Temple waiting room I couldn't help but feel like I was missing out on something amazing and wanted to be there so bad! They had a magazine sitting on the table in front of me that I picked up to read, so that it would pass sometime from waiting so long, the page I turned to said, "Choose the Temple." I started to get tears in my eyes and felt a little bit of sadness that I was not able to participate. After I was able to compose myself and wipe my tears away I had an amazing feeling of peace come over me and just knew that one day I would make it into the temple and not only that but Lara would be able to be there with me! I also couldn't help but think about how this must feel when at the end of life, if my loved ones were on the other side and I am stuck in outer darkness and not able to be with them and rejoice with them. It definitely gave me more strength and resiliance to be able to keep fighting this battle and endure to the end, while doing the best that I can do. I do not want to be left out in the eternities and wouldn't want any of my loved ones to miss out either! The next day Lara and Darren got sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple and after they were married they brought Maddie, Laras' daughter, into the sealing room and had her sealed to them as well. When I was down waiting in the waiting room, my heart began to ache again, I could only imagine what was going on in that sealing room and how amazing they all must feel. I again was feeling left out and wanting something so bad but not being able to do anything about it at that moment. On the table next to the couch I was sitting on there was a white Book of Mormon sitting on it, I picked it up and decided to do some more reading, I turned to a page in D&C that talked about enduring to the end and not letting our doubt, fear or guilt get in the way and how we should follow the brothern and there teachings, they will never lead us astray. I began to really think about all this and how I can totally overcome my doubts, fears and guilt? I am my own worst enemy and most the times its me that is my biggest critic and me that is always putting myself down. I said a little prayer in my head and asked Heavenly Father to please help me to be able to be nicer to myself and not be so hard on myself. I then decided to read a article out of the Ensign that was next to the scriptures and the title was, " Is there such a thing as a point of no return?" I think it was by president Uchdorf but it was an amazing article! If any of you get the time, read it. It talked about how Satans best tool is to get us down on ourselves and make us feel like there is no hope and we've done the unparnable. But... Nothing is too evil and wrong to stand in the way of The Atonement! There is always hope! I personally need to work on this with myself and not letting Satan into my thoughts, even in the temple, he got to me. I was feeling those doubtful thoughts, He knows just who we are and how to get to us best! I am grateful to know that we have people around us that know how amazing we really are and people on the other side that are cheering us on and as we pray we can tap more into those helpers. SATAN SUCKS!! I have been so grateful to be able to be there as much as possible with Lara on her special day and to be able to recieve some of my own experiences while waiting in the Temple. Life is all about the journey. I've heard people say that life is a test we weren't sent here with a manual, but I believe we were sent here with plenty of manuals, the Scriptures, church magazines, prayer and our church leaders. The Lord wouldn't leave us high and dry. We have countless things to turn to so that we can make it back home safely! I cannot wait for the day that I am able and ready to go to the temple and participate in the blessings and protection that comes with that! It is truly a refuge from the world! And I hope that in the end there will be no empty chairs around me and ALL my precious loved ones are there with me!! Show more Show less

Why is it important for us to take care of our bodies? Why are our bodies called temples of God in the Bible?

I heard a song for the first time ever, by Hilary Weeks, The song is called 'If I only had today.' It has left me thinking about life and how fragile everything is! Ya know I've heard many Prophets, Leaders, Parents, ect.. say many times that are bodies are Temples. I don't think I ever really realized or knew what the meaning behind that was, because for me, I had treated my body like a Bar,Club, Object and at times believing I was trash and that I had been created for that purpose alone. I have done horrible destructive things to myself in my past and latey I have just been trying so hard to see the Temple that God keeps telling his Prophets and Authorities to teach us about our sacred body/ Temple. I am my worst enemy but I am trying and learning that if God created me to be a Temple that I need to stop the things that I do to myself and think about. What God sees in me and also what a lot of other loved ones say they see in me. When I think of the temple I think of a refuge from the world, a place where Peace is in full bloom. We need to go to the Temple or Be the Temple God made us to be so that we won't feel surrounded and overcome by the weight of the world and at times feel so alone, lost and invisible and that we are worth nothing to ourselves or to anyone around us! When I get in those low points I can't help but think, what does the Lord see in me? Is he proud of me or ashamed of me? And how can I really EVER feel clean and whole when the Lord does come again and know that if I have repented with a sincere heart he will remember them no more! I can't even enter the temple because of these fears yet! I am Trying to use the Atonement in my life but it isn't easy and I'm struggling to understand it. When I think about the day that I get to go to the temple, I feel such peace and my eyes get wet and a blanket of warmth surrounds me. I can't even put into words how my heart feels and all the other feelings I have! I pray that the Lord will help me to treat myself as a Temple and to have those same sacred feelings that I have about the Temple, in my heart and I will be able to have those feelings about myself and my body as a holy temple and a True Daughter of God, and understand the meanings of being his child! Can you imagine how different the world would be if we could all just for a second could see beyond this mortal life and feel and see first hand the amazing love that our Heavenly Father and older brother Jesus have for us. When they see us do the things that aren't sacred to our own body of a temple it must crush them and bring sorrow to there hearts! I must say that I was up at Zacharys' grave (my cousin Katies little boy that was still born) and all of a sudden, I couldn't control the tears that were coming out of my eyes, it was like someone turned the faucet on full blast and I coudn't stop it. I was overwhelmed with how lucky he is to have been able to come to this earth get his body/temple and then return back home and my heart just ached in envy and jealousy that he was able to return back 'home' without having to face the trials, sufferings, pains, sins and satans power to make us feel of no worth. He is SOOOO lucky! Then I started thinking about my precious ones, Autumn, Jared, Connor, Brendan, Jasey, Sequoia and KateLynn and how they are just starting this experience of life and how bad I just want to hold them, and be a refuge and a peace from satan so they won't get down on themselves and see that they are chosen and are Temples of God and that they can hold strong and stand for what is right even if they are standing alone. Because even though they may feel completely alone they aren't. Jesus suffered EVERYTHING we have and will go through and understands us more than anyone else. We also have loving Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles pulling for us as well as a loving Heavenly Father and Mother pulling for us to stand strong, not only that but we have an incredible posterity on the other side on our team too, cheering and helping us along. I just look in my little ones eyes and just wanna take any sorrows or struggles from them that they will face in the future, but at the same time, hopefully they will not do it the way I did things, see that I chose a completely opposite route for awhile and am fighting day by day to overcome my past and my short comings while clinging to the Rod of Iron, and I realize that they need to go through rough times to make them strong and to make them be grateful for the good days, when the bad days sometimes seem so long and seem never ending. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and that we are all just going through some refining so that the master can look at us and see his image in us. As I have thought about this with my nieces and nephews and how devastated I would be if they chose a different route, like I did, or even just slipped an struggled how much pain and sorrow I must have caused to my loved ones, my Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Parents, ect.. and how hard it must have been for them to see me choose somethings so different then the right path, my heart just aches for the sorrow I caused others. You think you are the only one hurting yourself but as I have been in many groups and counseling I have come to see more and more of the whole picture and that you are really hurting all the loved ones around you and I am sorry to you all, but what a blessing it must be too for my loved ones to see me figuring things out again and always pulling for me an cheering me on. I coudn't help but feel sorrow for Katie and Tagg as well while I was up Visiting Zachs grave, because yes they would have been amazing parents, but I am so jealous for Zach that he is back home and in a safe an holy place 24/7 and that they now have another member on the other side cheering them on. And my precious sister Angela that was taking home too soon as an infant as well but she is also safe and up there fighting with us and hoping we all make it back. I have felt Angelas' presence in my life a few times and have had such a real desire of hope to be able to hold her so tight and apologize to her and to my other posterity that saw me doing such destructive things to my own sacred Temple/Body and for any sorrow I caused them! I also have thought alot about how all temples close down for a month or two for cleaning and renivations. So I am considering this time in my life my cleansing and renivating time! I'm making myself into the stronger, built on a firm foundation and able to fight back if Satan tries to get to me, like he tried to get my Great Great Great Grandpa, Mariner W. Merrill, he was the first president of the Logan Temple, who literally fought Satan and his troups away from the Temple, and He commanded them to leave and they did because of his faith and his firm foundation. It's a daily thing sometimes moment to moment but when God is on our side we can get through anything. And as the temples close down yearly for the cleaning and renivating,we can also work on our own temples as well. I used to get really upset when people would say to me, you are so strong you have gone through alot and you go through alot. I felt like I was crumbling inside and was not anywhere near strong, I actually felt the farthest thing from strong, but then one night I realized the reason people are saying I am strong and I believe it is because God is with me and making me look strong and even carrying me or holding me up and making me capable of things I never knew I could do or was even possible of doing. I must also say, my heart is aching because I have been enjoying visiting Zach and Angelas graves, but when I go I can just feel that winter is coming soon and I won't be able to go up there and visit and feel the feelings I have up there for a while, I have precious angel spirits that surround me in those hallowed grave spots! I don't know if this makes much sense I am just full of alot of thoughts and feeling pretty lost and not liking all this change going on around me and feeling like the world is overtaking me and I'm just disappearing, but I want to shine in the way that I was sent here to shine. I know that if God was going to give up on me he would have along time ago and if my earthly parents and family were going to give up on me they too would have along time ago. And the precious friends that haven't given up on me and are still pulling for me, it is soo greatly appreciated and I know all things are possible with God and I can turn my body back into a HOLY TEMPLE and treat it in the sacred way I treat The House of the Lord, The Temple! I am also sooo blessed to have such precious innocent nieces an nephews that love me purely and have no judgements and have that Christ like love that we should all have and long for,I love being loved by my little ones! My testimony is real and I am grateful to know what I know!! I love being a Mormon!! Show more Show less